Universe has shifted

The past two weeks have been a daze for me. Truly I can say that my old self is dying and a new self is emerging. In one sense, this is one of the "pascal mystery" moments of my life; dying to my former life of doing what I wanted, when I wanted... to putting my son totally first. Of course it comes natural and it should not be any other way, but at 3:00 in the morning, I feel the "death" a little more keenly. Also, it is becoming very clear that Wife and I need to continue putting our relationship above all else right now so that we can forge ahead working as a united team, bonded, and supportive of each other. With sleep deprivation comes thin skin and frayed nerves. Moreover, Wife is an inspiration to me right now. She is in a lot of pain from complications of the C-section (nothing life-threatening, thank goodness), but still is so committed to giving our son the best start possible, she gets up every three hours and breast feeds him. Speaking of breast feeding, there's a lot that I've learned in the past couple of weeks that belong to what I call the "estrogen pool." I am firmly swimming in it now after being able to speak fluently with terms such as "does he have a good latch?", "honey, where is your 'brest friend' (the name of the 'boppy' that she uses)", and the like. The concept of fatherhood has not sunk in yet and I don't expect it to for a little while. While I love Papito and feel bonded to him, I think that it takes longer for fathers to grasp the wonderment of parenthood than for mothers because we were not "one" with the baby for nine months, and we are not able to give of our own bodies for the sake of the other, as in breast feeding. I am presently watching Papito groan and coo while sleeping in his swing. I've got a beer in hand and a smile on my lips.